Or better said, InMAUL (thank you Uncle Steve).
Y'all I just CAN'T with this today. I blame this nasty cold I've been fighting for nearly a week, it's made me crankier than usual. I was feeling almost human today, so thought I'd respond to an otherwise "meh" inmail (inmaul!) I got last week. Here goes -
I had reached out to you via InMail a few weeks ago and I am just touching base to make sure you received my message! I am currently looking for Recruiters for a few exciting positions at [COMPANY] and I am writing to gauge your interest. I would love to further our conversation if you are interested in recruiting opportunities at [COMPANY] :) Let's connect and see if we can collaborate either now or in the future. Happy connecting!
Ok so this was the 2nd message in a week. Totally fine. The first message was more general networking, nothing exceptional either way. I had every intention of sending a nice "thanks but no thanks" - however being curled up in a miserable ball of sickness derailed that plan. I digress.
I decide to write back this morning - I like to be SUPER transparent and make sure I'm leaving no room for guesswork. Most of the time these responses knock me right out of consideration, which is fair, given that it would take something truly spectacular to pull me away -
hi [AGENCY RECRUITER], happy to chat, but I do want to be clear on where I am in my career / what it would take to pry me away :)
I'm full time at Google - Since I've been here less than a year I'd have a significant clawback if leaving any time soon. This would obviously need to be accounted for in any potential offers. (I know it may seem premature to mention, we've only just met! But I just want to be extra transparent).
I'm also connected to a couple of leaders at [COMPANY ([SPECIFIC TEAMS])] and am having long term chats about future potential. Since you're representing an agency, I just want to be up front on that, as I may not be a "fee-worthy" candidate. Also, not interested in contract unless it pays VERY well, 100% remote and allows me to finally relocate to Hawaii. ;)
How do you define "exciting positions" at [COMPANY]? I have my own thoughts on what makes a role epic, but curious what that means to you.
Here's the thing y'all - I'm 9 months into my role. I'm having some growing pains like anyone else. I'm CONSTANTLY engaging with / networking with recruiting leaders as you just never know where your career will take you. I'm not actively looking to leave (I JUST FREAKING GOT HERE) but I wanted this recruiter to know that I already know people at your client. You are probably not getting a fee for me.
Here's the response I got - approximately 5 minutes later -
Thank you for the information! I have many roles across different recruiting teams at [COMPANY]. I work with the direct managers at [TEAM, TEAM, TEAM I ALREADY MENTIONED, and TEAM]. I hire all levels of Technical Recruiters to these teams. Dependant on your skill set I would present you to one or multiple of these teams. The roles are primarily sourcing roles. Let me know if you would be interested in continuing the conversation!
I am curious, are you full time or contract at the moment?
Please take a moment and see if you can point out the mistakes.
Ok, have your list? I have one too. But first, my snarky response back because I JUST F%&$ING CAN'T TODAY.
my super power is recruiting strategy and client engagement. I helped build the Business AI team at Microsoft while I was there. I currently manage all senior hiring (engineering managers) across YouTube with a team of 3 (2 sourcers and another recruiter)
I've spoken at tons of conferences, conducted lots of trainings, webinars and written many recruiting articles - lots out there that speaks to my skill set and expertise :) If you still think you can charge a fee for me after learning more about me, happy to chat.
I won't consider contract unless it's breathtakingly better than what I'm currently doing (and pays like, $100 an hour or more depending on cost of benefits, etc)
YOU DIDN'T READ MY RESPONSE
I am clearly full time. I said that. Like clearly stated I'm full time and not interested contract. Yet you still asked if I was full time or contract. Is this real life?
YOU DID ZERO HOMEWORK
Don't bullshit me on this. If you'd done even a cursory scan of my LinkedIn profile (let alone the rest of my social footprint) you'd know a few things about me. You could have cracked a joke about yoga pants. You could have said "great job on last week's webinar" (even though you clearly didn't listen to it) you could have said SOMETHING, ANYTHING, that would have indicated I was more than just another target on your inmaul list.
YOU DIDN'T ADDRESS MY QUESTION
I gave you an opening. I asked you why your roles were exciting (YOUR WORDS). You could have given me any kind of pitch that maybe JUST MAYBE would have gotten my attention or possibly given me a reason to refer someone your way.
Y'all I'm nobody special. I'm just another recruiter in a sea of AMAZING professionals trying to do my best and feed my kids. I work for a high profile brand, I have a bit of name recognition because I verbally vomit all over the internet. I'm not the only one, and don't think I'm any more qualified than the next guy on your list.
The next guy deserves better. So did I.
So does the Engineering Manager I'm about to contact out of the blue. They guy or gal who's happily leading a team building the next epic thing at a cool company. The leader who's INUNDATED with inmails (INMAULS) from recruiters like me. The manager who's more concerned about getting the next feature shipped and NOT their next job.
I have a new rule for any outgoing message I send. How would this MAKE ME FEEL if I was on the receiving end? If the answer is "like a number", then I should probably rethink before I hit send.
Oh, and if you're wondering about the response I got to my final message?
Thank you for letting me know! At this time that is higher than I would be able to pay. If that changes I will be sure to reach out!
Hawaii, here I come!