Showing Your A** on Social

Real talk - I've met some of the most amazing people through Social Media. That's right. My online shenanigans have resulted in real world friendships and I could not be more grateful.

Then there's the asshats.

Yep, I said it. Some of you are just hellbent on showing your ass on social media. Here's the thing you might not know about me -

I'm not afraid to show my ass too.

A visual representation of my timeline most days

I'm rather "visible" on all things social. I write, I make videos. Sometimes I put pictures of my dogs on Instagram. The only thing I DON'T do is post much about my kids. (That's the ONE thing I keep super private so don't even think about it). Me? I'm fair game. I speak my mind often and loudly. While I recognize I in many ways "represent" my employer, the opinions I share on Twitter or Facebook are mine and mine alone. In fact, the first time someone tagged my employer on Twitter trying to call me out for some alleged awful thing I said I cried. I thought I was getting fired - our social media team laughed and welcomed me to the internet.

Fast forward many years later to TODAY. The more my career has progressed, the more senior roles I've held, the bigger the companies I've worked for... some people just can't help but see me as a target. There are two really weird phenomenons I'm noticing on social, and I am not quite sure how I feel about either one. Other than annoyed, of course.

The Bully Shamer

I recently went through a tough learning experience with someone I thought I knew (from IRL interactions). We'd often disagreed and poked at each other quite a bit over the years. All in good fun, I thought. Then this person started really drilling in to things like my word choice, telling me what I was "allowed" to say as a TA professional. Every part of my language, writing, and experience was picked apart. I was accused of all sorts of high crimes - most notably "shaming" of job seekers and fellow recruiters. For the most part I brushed it off, figuring this was just a little over the top ribbing that was starting to sting a bit. The final straw was when this person blocked me after publicly telling me to go f*ck myself and sending a personal message about my terrible online persona.

I'll admit that was a tough one to bounce back from. I like being liked! It was kind of hard to think there's a person out there who literally thinks I shame candidates and bully fellow recruiters. I have PAGES of screenshots of various interactions, and I have come to realize that some people are just not going to like you. We all see the world through the lens of our own experience. If that experience causes you to think I'm a jerk, I can't tell you you're wrong. But I also don't have to stick around to listen to it.

The Tagger

Oh THIS is an old fave. I have lost count of the number of times a complete stranger has said "Amy Miller is a recruiter for @Company AND SHE DID THIS AWFUL THING!" I mean... do you think the CEO is going to call me into his or her office for a good scolding? Worse, do you think I'll get FIRED? Is that what you want? What kind of person wants to get someone FIRED for disagreeing with them on social media? What kind of attention is it that you're trying to bring to yourself by doing something like this? I genuinely don't get it. While I'm careful to not talk about my current employer (whoever they may be) on social or my YouTube channel, it's not hard to confirm. By tagging said company in whatever you're bitching about, you really look like an asshole.

Here's the thing about me. I believe in transparency. I believe sunlight is the best disinfectant. I will call out bad BEHAVIOR publicly, but I don't believe in "cancel culture" or putting individuals on blast just because they say something I don't like. In recruiting in particular, I recognize that demanding people do things "my way" or only use words I approve of is a recipe for disaster. I am guilty of speaking (typing) without thinking and have owed people apologies more than once. It'll happen again, I'm sure.

One of the questions I often ask myself in these online interactions, is how do I want people to SEE me? I hope they see a few things.

I was helpful
I was thought provoking
I was funny
I cared

Most of all, I was authentic. If you ever meet me in person I don't think you'll be very surprised. My "online persona" (awful as it may be) is actually, authentically me.  And my dogs really REALLY like me. So I've got that going for me, at least. ;)



Comments

  1. I do my hair toss
    Check my nails
    Baby how you feelin'?
    ~Feeling good as hell~
    Hair toss
    Check my nails
    Baby how you feelin'?
    ~Feeling good as hell~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Those ass hats get really courageous behind the screen of a computer. The next time you see them Irl, invite them to take it outside and give me a call. I can take them. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  3. While I might not like to wear yoga pants to work because I have too much booty I think your online posts and social media are great! Nobody hast agree with everybody and the rest us all have to be kind to one another. I think you're fabulous. #nerdycatgurl #AkaPaprikaandPatchiesmom

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